I decided to leave the house late yesterday. I don’t do that very often, but I’d like to think if I took a different path in life, I’d be a city-bustling, party busting little night owl.
Anyway, I swung into a supermarket to get a bottle of Kombucha — cliché, I know — and the valley voices trickled into my consciousness. I was steadily trying to decide between Toy Story band-aids, or Mickey Mouse band-aids, but I just couldn’t help but listen in to this other shopper’s very irritated, and very loud phone call.
“Oh my God. You’re not. No. So you’re going to steal my car. Shit. So You know. I went outside. Like. Checking to see if. And. Yeah, my car wasn’t there. So, I just moved here. I don’t have a car. I’m just trying to get a job, and, like… she just met this dude. She was crying because he had overdosed, and I’m like. Why the hell are you crying for that?”
This went on for the entirety of my shopping… experience. Suddenly, I had a valley voice. Like, for real?
Listen to this song, and you’ll know what I mean — It brought me memories of this: https://weerdscience.bandcamp.com/track/evil-genius
Sometimes, I’m glad I’ve aged the way I have. I feel like I’ve missed out on a lot, but my life is simply undramatic. Sure, I’m only a single slip in the bathroom away from being senile, and I’m probably AARP’s youngest recruit, but at least I’m not whatever the heck that phone call was. Life-Alert, here I come!
Anyway, it’s like 9:00am now, so I need to go mow the lawn. It’s not too early for that right?